Belonging matters: autistic mental health and the power of community

By Dr Chris Papadopoulos, CEO, London Autism Group Charity

For many autistic people, seeking support means having to explain themselves before anyone can begin to help. Why a busy room is overwhelming. Why speaking on the telephone is difficult. Why they can appear to be coping in public and have nothing left when they get home. When these experiences are repeatedly misunderstood, asking for help can become another exhausting task.

At London Autism Group Charity, we take those experiences very seriously. Our community activities, peer connections and specialist support share a common purpose: helping people feel understood and supported in their everyday lives. That means paying attention to relationships, identity, sensory needs and the freedom to be yourself.

Autism is not a mental illness. Autistic people can, however, experience mental health difficulties and need appropriate care. A neurodiversity-informed approach recognises differences in how people think, communicate and experience the world. It also recognises disability and substantial support needs. Respecting someone's identity and responding to their distress belong together. Neither should be used to dismiss the other.

The cost of being misunderstood

Stigma can be obvious, through bullying or discrimination. It can also be quieter: having your needs dismissed, your communication judged as rude, or your distress treated as an overreaction. When these messages become part of how someone sees themselves, stigma turns inward. This is internalised stigma, or self-stigma, often described as internalised ableism. A person may come to believe that their natural ways of communicating, moving or processing information are wrong, that their needs are burdensome, or that they must hide who they are to deserve acceptance. We encounter this in our work, and challenging it is an important part of supporting autistic identity and wellbeing.

For some people, hiding becomes a way of getting through the day. This is often called masking: rehearsing conversations, forcing eye contact or holding back movements that help you feel settled. Research links greater masking with poorer mental health, though the relationship is complex. It can also help someone protect themselves from rejection or judgement. Simply telling them to stop does little to change the world they have to navigate.

We need to make it safer for people to express their needs. That might mean a quieter room, a different way to communicate or a request for an adjustment being met with understanding. People should not have to reach a crisis before we believe them about what they find difficult.

Acceptance means being able to exist without continually proving that your differences are acceptable. Research by Cage and colleagues links autistic adults' experiences of acceptance with their mental health. Acceptance cannot prevent every difficulty, but the environment around us matters. Being met with compassion can ease the pressure to mask and help us become less critical of ourselves.

What autistic-led community can offer

This is what we want people to experience at our community cafés and activity days: somewhere welcoming, compassionate and low-pressure, where they can be themselves. If someone stims, dresses differently, takes longer to process information or communicates in an unexpected way, why should that need correcting? What matters is safety and respect for yourself and others. You can join a game, sit quietly or spend time alongside people without having to keep a conversation going.

Even small demands can feel very different when you are already worn out. Someone who has spent the day coping with noise, monitoring their behaviour and meeting other people's expectations may have little left for another request. It is worth asking what they are already carrying before assuming they are unwilling to engage. Demand sensitivity varies, and accumulated pressure is one part of that picture. Offering choices, time, predictability and permission to decline can help. Our walks, film club and Fridays at Farringdon give people different ways to connect, because no single format suits everyone.

There is also good reason to rethink familiar assumptions about autistic communication. In a study by Crompton and colleagues, autistic people shared information effectively with one another. Although this was not a study of community services, it raises a useful question: how much depends on who we are with and whether we understand each other? Communication is something we do together.

Autistic leadership helps bring that understanding into everyday decisions. How easy is it to register? Do people know what to expect? Can they step away without having to explain themselves? These details can make a real difference. Autistic people need a meaningful say in how support is designed and delivered, and opportunities to tell us what could work better.

At LAGC, we welcome self-identifying autistic people without requiring a formal diagnosis to access our community. We also recognise the place of families, carers and allies. Access should reflect the purpose of the activity and the person's needs, while maintaining appropriate boundaries and safeguarding.

Community and specialist support

For some people, meeting others is an important first step. Others need more individual help, or find that a group simply does not suit them. We commission autistic professionals to support people with mental health and autistic identity, taking time to understand whether the support is right for them. Community connection belongs alongside properly funded mental health services, with access to assessment and treatment when needed.

Finding the right person matters too. Shared identity can help, but so do professional skill, trust and feeling listened to. People need a say in their support and the freedom to tell us when it is not helping. We should keep asking whether it is making a difference to the things that matter to them.

Keeping this work going takes resources. Small charities cannot offer unlimited appointments or fill every gap in public services. Reliable funding helps preserve the relationships and spaces people come to trust. Before making a referral, it is worth finding out whether the organisation can offer what that person needs.

Lessons for professionals

For anyone working with young people, families or adults, much of this begins with everyday interactions. Explain what will happen and why. Put useful information in writing and give people time to take it in. Ask how they prefer to communicate, and check that you have understood each other.

Take care when interpreting behaviour. Limited eye contact, a flat tone or a delayed response does not tell you how much someone cares. Ask about sensory pressures, uncertainty and previous experiences of being misunderstood. Offer a quieter setting where possible. Work with the person to identify what would make the interaction more manageable.

The relevance to a publication concerned with young people's futures lies in inclusion, dignity and access to support. Autism should never become shorthand for dangerousness, and we should not present community activities as a proven intervention against violence. Our contribution is to show why autistic people deserve to be understood and supported as whole people.

That requires listening before deciding what progress should look like. It might mean accessing specialist care, understanding your autistic identity or finding somewhere you feel comfortable returning to. It should never require becoming less recognisably yourself to earn belonging. Autistic-led community support can offer repeated experiences of being accepted as you are, helping challenge the self-stigma that says otherwise. Making space for authenticity, autonomy and connection is central to the environments we want to create.

References and further information: 

[1]   Psychosocial factors associated with camouflaging and its relationship with mental health and wellbeing: systematic review https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37741059/
[2]  Cage, Di Monaco and Newell (2018): Experiences of Autism Acceptance and Mental Health in Autistic Adults https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3342-7
‍[3]  Crompton and colleagues (2020): Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective doi.org/10.1177/1362361320919286
‍[4]  London Autism Group Charity https://www.londonautismgroupcharity.org/

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